I was getting regular GOOD MORNING sms from Ajay. Atleast one call per day, sometimes more than one and many a time GOOD NIGHT sms also. It was like we were coming quite close day by day. I also realized that he made his talks longer by adding one subject after other as the conversation of the first died out. The best part of the talks was that they were giving me ample subjects and methods for keep talking for hours. I was also learning to make one converse on useless topics and that too with interest. He became my teacher and a faithful buddy.
Today is Saturday, 5th Jan 2008. The long awaited moment was going to turn up today. I started preparation for the DINNER.At 11.0 sharp I called CHIK beauty parlor for an appointment at 3.0pm. At 11.10, I called DESI-PANJABI, a good restro’ with reputation of serving tasty food, ordered food for today’s party. I called Varsha to send “Pandit” for making fresh, hot chapattis. (My preparation for the Dinner was over).
At 3.0pm, I reached CHIK beauty parlor. The hairdresser took hours for hair-do, eyebrow and light makeup. I wanted to look best for the party. I reached back home by 4.45pm. Pandit was waiting for me. Within half an hour I received my order from DESI-PANJABI. I dressed up in orange sari ......I looked fabulous.
All the invited friends came around seven. It was to my surprise that half of the male guests came alone. I did not ask for the excuse and they never gave one. For me it was actually a better position.
As the initial gestures of welcome and few formal words died out, it became SO QUITE…….. I felt THE DIFFICULTY to start a conversation with friends/ not so friends without any common business. Luckily VARSHA started asking about BAD HABITS AMONG FRIENDS -like drinking alcohol, smoking and other habits of the male guests. ……….. Soon everyone started talking, they were giving reasons for the bad habits……….like excess stress, long working hours etc. I WAS NOT LISTENING. I WAS TRYING TO FIND SOME WAY TO TALK TO VINIT. ….WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME………WAS I HAD A CRUSH………VARSHA woke me up from day-dreaming. Except Shashank, all have habit of drinking more …..than four to six drinks. I took the hint from Varsha and said that it is a bad habit and need to be curtailed. All the men agreed but admitted that it is rather impossible for them to stop, as they tried and failed many a time. Well …..that’s good.. I asked them to allow us( me and VARSHA) to call them everyday as reminder for stopping their habit of Alcoholism, and asked them to call us whenever they drink even a single drink. I got the VISA.
From next day onwards I started calling VINIT everyday. I also started sending GOOD MORNING MESSAGES and after three days GOOD NIGHT MESSAGES. I am not very good at writing the messages on my own. It was AJAY who was sending me special messages that I was forwarding to others. (thanx AJAY).
Thanx to Teamrediffilaqnd for posting my blog on FRONT PAGE of Rediff.com. Till it happened with me, I was wondering for the LUCK of those whose blog I saw posted on the front page. Few days ago, I had seen "hardhitter" on front page and congratulated him but felt jealous. On 22nd, I was checking my inbox, as a regular habit to reply received messages and read blogs of fellow ilander who send me reminder to check their blogs. I WAS SURPRISED AND AMAZED TO SEE PAGES AND PAGES OF MESSAGES IN MY INBOX.Without reading a single message, I opened the front page of Rediff.com. To my surprise MY BLOG WAS POSTED ON THE FRONT PAGE. YAPEE!..........I AM ON THE FRONT PAGE. I was so happy. THANX all the readers who visited my blog. Thanx for your comments. I started reading all the comments in inbox;comment list etc. one by one AND myhappy feeling was STARTED changing slowly. I remembered what SID wrote as "thank you note" when his blog was on front page
"Before I start writing this part, I must need to clarify something on the title of my blog in this relationship category here. I been receiving lot of mails and messages from fellow islanders having an impression that it is MY, Siddharth belief & opinion that everybody cheats. Hell, no!!
I picked up this title for two reasons,
1. This was the first understandable without any medical jargon statement uttered by my shrink on the very first encounter with her, she did say,"Everybody cheats"
2.These words instantly struck a raw chord inside me somewhere deep down making me think, "Everybody cheats eh? Am I everybody? Or nobody? Or somebody?".
Trust me the title is never from any defense mechanism in me. It is not also as a pass on the buck thingy psyche for me. So, there!
Now even after these clarifications,any reader still sense, I believe/think/opinion/ whatever-crap that, "everybodyï cheats", then my answer to them shall be as under,
Ok ok folks.. Am wrong!! Na, nobody ever cheats in this world. Its just I, Siddharth and Ms. Leo in this world ever cheated in the history of mankind on their spouses like two horrid, immoral, married, perverted beings. All men of the world are Pope brother and all women are Mother Teresa 's clone/ reincarnation. " Happy now folks?? "IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
I wish to spell out something about the story for the readers who commented about the story----THIS IS A REAL STORY OF A RESPECTABLE PERSON (Mr. Choudhary- name change) , WHO DIED AT THE AGE OF 65, THREE YEARS AGO.YOU CAN IMAGINE THE PERIOD WHEN SUCH THINGS WERE HAPPENING TO HIM.
THEY WERE NEITHER NOT SO COMMON TYPE THEN NOR NOW, IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE Mr. Ajay IN THE STORY. I tried to write the story as true as it was narrated to me. The complete story is in four parts.The other parts can be read from my iland page.
THE MAIN AIM IN WRITING THE STORY WAS TO SHOW THE FEELINGS OF A HURT PERSON AND "NOT MASALA READING---- STRICTLY NOT PORN"
The comments of readers suggest that it is happening quite frequently now a day that shows Indian culture is changing to western. WHERE ARE OUR CULTURE GURUS WHO WISH TO PROTECT OUR CULTURAL PRIDE AND RESPECT?
STILL, COMMENTS OF FEW (IN FACT MANY) READERS SHOWED THAT THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE IN TERMS OF RESPECT OF WOMEN IN INDIAN CULTURE, ACTUALLY IT SHOWS THERE IS NO RESPECT. IT GIVES A BITTER FEELING.
I WISH TO THANK AND APPRECIATE FELLOW ILANDER FRIENDS WHO WERE READING MY BLOGS AND COMMENTING REGULARLY. THAT WAS REALLY SPORTING.
Today is 31 December (two days gone); I wished all the new friends -
“ happy new year2008”(making it sound like normal gesture).
On 1 January, I received a call from Ajay. (He was not in the list of chosen men)
He called me to wish “NEW YEAR”
(He tried to make it a greeting call).
He started talking about his family and asked about mine. I knew the call wasn’t for the greeting at all. Something in his voice and way of talking made me talk to him.Few seconds later, I started enjoying his conversation. We talked for 15 minutes.
From next day onwards he started sending “good morning (GM)” SMS. He was sending GM SMS, to a number of friends to make it appear his regular habit of doing so.(LESSON 1)
He started calling now and then. The talks were without any useful purpose but something in his way of talking made me receive his calls. Soon the duration of calls started expanding and so the frequency.(LESSON 2).
Today is 2nd, I called Varsha, she told me that she had already called Rakesh twice and started having a bit regular conversation on phone. I have not done a single attempt. I do not have any idea where to start.
(I recalled that my husband suggested for calling all friends for dinner.)
My mother told me once “tasty food is one of the ways to man’s heart” (STEP 1) I called Vinit, Rakesh, Atul, Nilesh, Shashank, Varsha and few more for dinner on Saturday (after three days). I called everyone with their wife except Vinit.
I called Vinit again after 15minutes-
Me – “ HI, Vinit “
Vinit – “HI, I WILL SURELY COME FOR DINNER”(a bit irritation in his voice)
Me – “ I wanted to tell you that it’s me who is going to do all cooking and there is no one to help me. Atul comes always late from office. I asked him to atleast make it by party time.So Sorry.I am calling everyone alone. I will surely call all of you with wife and kids later sometimes.
Vinit – “NO PROBLEM. NO NEED TO SAY SORRY. I WILL COME ALONE”
Me – “ I am planning to cook many dishes like……………..’(He interrupted).
Vinit – “ I NEED TO GO NOW. BYE”
He put phone down. He does not like useless talks. The only thing I could do by this call is to make sure that he is coming for dinner alone. I did not want him to come with his wife.
My cell ranged at 5PM. It was an unknown number. I did not pick it. It ranged again and again.
Reluctantly I had to pick it. I did not recognize the caller’s voice initially.
But it was a pleasant surprise. Still whenever I remember the call smile flashed on my face instantly.
He was one of the Ex-classmates of my x standard. It took me few minutes to recall him. I was hearing his voice after 26yrs. I would not have remembered the voice even it was of any of my best friends of that time.
The call was an invitation to alumni function scheduled to hold next day.
I reached the venue before time.
Attending alumni function was like rain in draught.
The high work pressure was killing me for last fifteen days. I still had many reports pending to be completed. But I did not let go this opportunity for fun. I knew my boss would not allow me the one-day leave, so I used my charm to make him say yes. (I am not very serious career woman; I always seek opportunity to get leave). I took the job to spend time outside home. The clinic is at Katol. Daily up down for work doesn’t appear tiring to me because my boss is a handsome doctor.
EX-Batch-mates and Ex-classmates started coming. They were looking so different from the childhood time. Some looked old, bald or fat while few were looking handsome. Varsha and Anita also came. I was really glad to meet them after so long. We chatted, laughed and remembered old days. Before departing we exchanged cell numbers, and made promises to keep contact with all the Ex-classmates.
There were 45 students in our section. Within five minutes I had more than 50 numbers.In the evening, I told my husband about the fun we had whole day. He advised me to call them for dinner. But calling 45 people plus their spouses, the number was scary for me.
On Friday 29th, I had off, I called Varsha and Anita to meet for lunch. They agreed. We decided a restaurant for meeting.
Three of us reached the restaurant in time. We talked about work, family, and hobbies. (We had many similar interests in school days. So I checked whether that quality still alive.) I started my favorite topic -MEN.
To my pleasure both of them jumped happily on the topics. We started discussing all of our ex-classmates; we met on alumni day, one by one.Looks, physic, work- success were part of our discussion. By eliminating one by one boy turned man, we zeroed down to five : Vinit, Rakesh, Atul, Nilesh and Shashank . (As doctors at work and doctor family friends surround me, I knew a lot about physical judgments. My comments about manhood of the men were feast for Varsha and Anita’s ears).
We decided to have fun – SEX with the chosen men. Our group (Varsha, Anita and Sangeeta (VLS) was a perfect symbol of librated women. We three are EDUCATED, ECONOMICALLY INDEPENDENT, OPEN MINDED AND the most important LOVE FUN.
WE STARTED PLANNING TO EXECUTE OUR PLAN. (The period decided was 1 month).
The hurting feeling started becoming intense day by day. Abhay was unable to control his feelings. He loved his wife so much. Every time he asked himself:He did every thing he could do for her, then why did he has to face such cheating.Where was he wrong?Was he not able to satisfy her sexually? Why did she never mention if he was short in some respect? He could have improved himself.
He wanted to bash Vinita hard. He wanted to run away from home. He felt like killing himself or kill Ajay. He wanted to throw his wife out of his life.
He wanted to share his hurt with someone.
BUT he could not tell any of his friends about it. He still loved his wife. He could not kill himself; he had family to look after. He could not say anything to Ajay, because he knew his answer
(why did your wife involve with me?)
That day he was working on his experiment, he felt dizzy.
Before he could control himself, he fell unconscious. He did not know what happened next………..
He woke up on hospital bed. (He was unconscious for seven days). Many relatives were standing around. Doctor suggested him to go to some hill station for change environment for a period of one month (the medical treatment given by the psychologist of that time for stress care) and later change the house and live in nuclear family mode.
They went for one-day holiday to MANALI with children.
They started living in a rented house. He never discussed the matter again.
Abhay used to come to his new house once a while.
Everything was normal on the surface. He made himself busy with his research work, so that he would have less time for thinking about Vinita and Abhay.After retirement he left the town. He never wanted to settle there.
He started living with his elder son. He liked Meera (his daughter–in-law) very much. She was an architect, having her own practice. She was doing pretty well but has no prudence of it. Ajay always wished for a wife like Meera for his son:A loving wife who would look after his son, love him fully. Meera was exactly like that. She also cared for him and Vinita whole-heartedly. He was very proud of her.
It was cold winter in Delhi. He went for evening walk, as per his normal routine. While returning, he started feeling dizzy. Somehow he reached back home. He asked his Meera (daughter-in-law) to check his temperature. He was running 102-degree fever. Meera gave him hot milk to drink and asked him to take rest. Ajay was suffering from viral fever. The high fever affected his brain cells. High fever and suppressed emotions combined into brain disorder. The psychiatrist told Meera and Sanjay (his elder son) that the old age of Ajay was hindrance for treatment like electric shock and strong medication. Doctor also told them that Ajay would get attacks now and then. The Doctor asked Meera and Sanjay to look after him patiently. In general language he was MAD. NOTHING could be done now, except admitting him to PAGALKHANA, for which Sanjay was not ready.
It was Sunday afternoon. Ajay saw Abhay entering his house. Vinita came running from inside and hugged Abhay. They were standing in each other’s arms for quite sometime, ignoring Ajay. For Ajay this was not tolerable. Blood started rushing up to his head. He was not able to control himself. In that fist of anger he picked a chair kept nearby and hit Abhay hard with it. It was a loud ….bang…he had killed Abhay.
Ajay opened his eyes. He was sweating profoundly. He saw Rahul (his son’s son) playing in his room. Rahul had hit door by his football. The bang sound he heard in sleep. He was dreaming. Twenty-five years has passed but the pain was still fresh.
Ajay did not know what to do.
He was sitting in sun in the afternoon. His daughter–in-law was inside the kitchen. He saw Vinita coming out of the door to garden, singing happily. He could not resist her happiness. He rose from his chair and with an animus energy started beating Vinita. He was pulling her hairs, slapping her and abusing her loudly. Vinita was not able to stop him or free herself from his clinch. Meera came rushing outside. She was shocked to see that. She tried to speak to Ajay but he was not listening to her She tried hard to free Vinita from Ajay’s clinch.
The old memories and their pain have resurfaced again. He started getting anger blows. They were like fit attacks. Sanjay and Meera consulted doctors. The old age of Ajay was hindrance
for treatment.
The anger blows started reoccurring again and again. Every time in the fist Ajay beat Vinita, abuse her with words like …. RANDI….KALMUHI …..ETC. At times he was so strong under fist that no one was able to handle him.
Meera was upset with these anger fists. The worsening atmosphere at home was making her tense. This was also affecting her two children. She was not able to control the deterring environment. She asked Sanjay to shift Ajay and Vinita to Vinay’s (Sanjay’s younger brother) place. Sanjay did not want to but things ware going out of hands.He was also upset because of the happenings.Sanjay had to ask Vinay to keep their parents in his house for sometimes.
Ajay and Vinita shifted to Vinay’s house.
It was again the anger blow. It started growing higher. Ajay was beating Vinita hard. Slapping her on forehead and back shouting loudly abusing her with words like …. RANDI….KALMUHI, …..etc. Blood was dropping from Vinita’s forehead. She was standing quietly. Vinay could not resist himself. He tried stopping Ajay, but Ajay was so strong under fist that he was unable to be stopped. Vinay tried again. He grabbed Ajay from behind and tried to free Vinita. In the process Ajay lost his balance and fell down. He hit his head on the windowsill and fell unconscious.
Ajay was admitted to hospital. He was unconscious. In panic junior doctors gave him electric shocks and heavy sedative. As a result of wrong treatment, his psychic condition turned worse. Doctors could not do anything better to save his condition. As a result, he was under coma. For three years, he was fed by tubes and machines. He died on Sunday 30th January.Vinita shifted back to Delhi to her elder son’s house.
On 1st March,telephone ranged. Rahul took the phone. He called Vinita. Vinita took the
call. It was Abhay.
Abhay: “Ajay to gya. Ab tum waha kya kar rahi ho. Bapas a jao”.
(Friends this is a true story of a cheated soul. I pray for him. There is always someone, who loves you truely. Do not hurt her/him, even unknowingly. I REQUEST)
Next day, when Abhay met Ajay in the university, Ajay started subject of Abhay’s wife. Abhay never wanted to discuss his personal life with anyone, but it was difficult to stopAjay.Ajay was constantly praising Vinita about her homely nature, cooking and even looks. That day, after returning from university he told Vinita about Ajay’s praise towards her.
Vinita was very happy to know that. He also came to know by talking to Vinita that many a times Ajay comes to their house for lunch. Abhay also gathered that Vinita liked commanding nature of Ajay.
Some thing in Vinita’s gesture
made Abhay think twice about the whole discussion.
It was Friday, Ajay left for lunch in the afternoon.
Abhay took half-day leave.
Because of gut feeling,
Abhay followed Ajay. To his surprise he found that Ajay was taking the route that goes to Abhay’s house.
Ajay went to Abhay"s house.
Ajay peeped through window to see who was inside to welcome Ajay (As per his knowledge, Vinita was busy and could not come home before five. And on Fridays no one was used at home till four). Abhay saw Vinita was inside.
Abhay Choudhary loved his wife very much. He could not think about love/ pleasure out side his marriage and family.For him his family was his world. Though he was traditional thinker for love in marriage, he had respect for his wife. And he believed in equal status for man and wife in marriage.So, most of the times he used to adapt as per his wife’s wishes. One can also feel that he was not enough strong to oppose his wife’s wishes. (for such remarks he thought it’s other people’s problem to think that way. Because he loved his wife very much, he felt like following and listening to her). He also encouraged his wife to work because he felt she had right to pursue her career.Abhay Choudhary was phd and was professor in University. His wife was lecturer in a girl’s college. Though they were working in different institutions and had different timings, Abhay used to help Vinita (his wife) with household chores.He was not prejudice about what his wife should do for him. He never minded eating cold food whenever he comes back.Abhay by nature was very serious about his work and normally avoided taking leave.
Ajay Gokhale was friend of Abhay’s elder brother. Ajay was quite dashing and had (1+2) wires. The other two women were sisters. By nature Ajay was jolly and fond of many things. Ajay was quite liberal about his work and most of the time on leaves. But with his talkative nature he used to get away with these faults. It was Ajay’s habit to go to his house for lunch everyday (to which wife nobody knew) and not to come back many a time. Abhay never asked him about Ajay’s wires/life as he thought it was Ajay’s personal matter (it was not hurting Abhay in any way).
Ajay Gokhale was a regular visitor to Abhay’s house. Abhay’s family was joint-family and it was Ajay’s habit to talk to all the members. Ajay was a kind of extended family member of Abhay’s family. Abhay’s family gave Ajay great respect and many times Ajay was
also involved in family discussions and in taking serious decisions.
It was Monday, a busy day in
university, Abhay was feeling feverish so he took half-day leave and came back home during lunch break. When he entered his house he heard Ajay and Vinita’s voices. It seemed to be some happy conversation.When he came closer he surprised to find that Ajay was having lunch and Vinita was serving hot chapattis to him gladly. They were so deeply involved in their conversation that they did not even noticed Abhay.Abhay was standing there for ten minutes.
When Abhay broke his silence, his voice took them by surprised. Ajay asked him to join for lunch, as if it was Ajay’s house and Abhay was guest. Abhay felt awkward but did not say thing.
In the beautiful apple-growing area, some 200km from Shimla in the mountainous Kinnaur district of Himachal Pradesh, Sangla is a favorite destination for honeymooning couples that find inspiration from, the romantic surroundings. The tribal living in the area especially in the remote area of Pooh and Yangthang areas of upper Kinnaur, follow an unusual ancestral custom.It has been a socially mandated tribal practice to facilitate economic sustenance – all siblings sharing a wife. You can find family of two brothers, three or four or more sharing a common wife. The best part of the custom is single wife means no fighting/breaking of family on the name of happiness. This also protects their land from breaking into small units. As all the siblings share one wife, they unit together in the form of a big family working on the same piece of land and flourishing. This also led to preservation of the economic sustainability.
The women of families also feel happy to have the affection of more than one husband.They also feel it takes a lot of mutual understanding and sacrifice to handle more husbands than one. Barring denial of the right of inheritance, the Kinnauri women have traditionally enjoyed cultural freedom in the matter of choosing life partner/s. no wonder Kinnaur, with a population of 78,000 now has the highest per capita income among the 12 districts of the state.
UNBELIEABLE CUSTOM OF ROYALS
In Egypt it was a tradition for royal siblings to marry one another. In former times, pharaohs had been known to marry their own daughters or sisters. Such rulers were at the same time husbands, fathers and father-in-law and their daughters likewise were both wives and daughter-in-law. And children resulted from such a union; the king in question would have achieved the peculiar feat of being both father and grandfatherto his own children. By this custom Cleopatra VII (22yrs old) married to her own brother (12yrs old).But Cleopatra had an affair with Caesar (roman king) and also had a son from him.
The custom of marrying own siblings had drawbacks like – Royal disease – “haemophilia’. Another case was Habsburgs who paid the price for selecting from too limited a gene pool. Charles II, the last Hasburg ruler of Spain , 1665, had the most pronounced case of the Habsburge jaw on record – so large and deformed that he was unable to chew. He was impotent and mentally retarded.
1. A team of scientists recently found that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that last 12 to 18 months. After that to make the relation alive one need to do efforts and adjustments. (You cannot love a person for lifelong).
2. A box jelly fish has 24 eyes, an earthworm’s entire body is covered with taste receptors, a cockroach can detect movement 2000 times that diameter of a hydrogen atom, a dog can sense of smell is up to 1,00,000 times greater than man, only human being has matting period of 365 days (round the year).
3. At times you feel totally drained but don’t know the reason. At times you react to things that normally don’t irritate you. At times you become so angry on small things that you through away your most lovely thing in anger or beat up you kid for no hard reason.
You feel such varied behaviour of yours at many points of times – WHY? Why do you behave like stranger?
The reason for such erratic behaviour is not the reason on which you express your irritation but different, much deeper. The reason could be – money crunch, lack of sex, insult, some disease, ETC
IT IS THERE IN YOUR MIND ALWAYS.
IT HUNTS YOU EVERY TIME OF THE DAY AND NIGHT.
YOU TRY TO PUT IT BACK, BUT IT REAPPEARS SOON.
To find the real reason - try to put your thoughts together once you calm down after the blow. After one or two try, you start finding the real cause behind the anger.
Next step is to solve the real problem. Try once. You start knowing yourself better - your weakness, your urge, your miseries.
a.You will start putting your right efforts to earn more money, if problem is money crunch. And after few persistent efforts you will achieve your goal.
b.You will start speaking in a manner that gives you a platform for self-respect, if problem is insult. And after few persistent efforts you will improve your image in front of those concerns you.
c.Alas !!! If the problem is LACK OF SEX, and the problem is not from your side (which is not normally) but from your spouse. WHAT WILL YOU DO? – You will have to put right effort to find love. And after few persistent efforts you may/may not achieve your goal. GOD BLESS YOU!
IT HAPPENED THAT DAY III
ON THE FRONT PAGE
IT HAPPENED THAT DAY II
IT HAPPENED THAT DAY
IT HURTS III
IT HURTS IV
IT HURTS II
IT HURTS
amazing customs
AMAZING FACTS